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Talking to Strangers 7: Wasted time in the eyes of our seniors

It’s nice to look back every once in a while, something I’m sure many of us are guilty of. Remembering simpler times like having fun with friends and not worrying about the future, or your ‘golden age’ of success and freedom. My elderly friend and I partook in remembering our fonder memories, and he recounted how he always loved playing football. As a kid it was a ritual for him to spend an hour or so every other day in a field, playing football with his friends. That ritual followed him into adulthood, where after a whole day of training as a cadet in the police force, he would spend some time with his team mates in the field before heading home.


He would firmly state he never drank or smoked, things he felt were unimportant in living a good life. He worked hard, did his job, and rewarded himself with a game of football and a meal after, nothing more or less. Those times to him were good memories, and he offered me another piece of advice, “Work hard and study hard, but must enjoy life. Got time, don’t waste the time.”


It is easy to get lost in the pursuit of success especially with the pace of life nowadays. Such is the structured path:

Good studies/results -> Good[1] school -> Good[2] job -> Good life


A path which has been repeated for generations and I’m sure will continue for many more to come. A truly Singaporean mentality that though not wrong, leaves a lot to be desired for. I feel like a more universal path should be preached, one that looks like this:

Learn from the past, Work hard for the future, Stay true to the present -> Good life


Working hard is without a doubt, a component for success. But what truly is the point of life if we only worked with the end in mind? Traditionally, we work hard to earn money so that we may enjoy a wonderful life later on at the expense of our present. When we slow down to enjoy the life we have, or we take the time to indulge in the little victories of life, we create more impactful and more beautiful memories to cherish. I am truly a fan of the saying that, “Time you enjoy wasting is not time wasted.” I feel like this also encapsulates another point to go along with what my elderly friend had mentioned.


Don’t be afraid to pursue hobbies or activities that others perceive as ‘wasting time’. Working around societal pressures and going against the norm are difficult tasks to overcome, especially with deeply rooted cultures valuing education as a means to an end. However, only you can define your own successes, and there is no shame in living your own dreams. There is no greater triumph than showing off your identity to the rest of the world.


Ultimately, you are the master of your own fate. When the curtains fall, will you be able to look back at all that you’ve done in life and be proud because they are your own achievements? Or will you look back and see all the missed opportunities to forge your own life, picking the path that would satisfy those around you instead?


A cliché that I refuse to get rid of, but a quote to tie the knot for the end of the article,

If you don't turn your life into a story, you just become a part of someone else's story.

Terry Pratchett

[1] By the way, in case you may be wondering to yourself, “But, every school is a good school!” We totally get it. Every school IS indeed a good school. In terms of academics alone though, some schools are more equal than others. J This was, in essence, what Mr. Heng Swee Keat, our then Minister of Education was saying as well[1]; Not every school will produce top scorers in national examinations but the vision is for every school to ‘bring out the best in every child’. [2] The definition of ‘good job’ here is also implied to refer to one which provides financial security but not necessarily contentment.

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